92. 10 Gifts That Might Make for a Happier 2023

Let's be honest, gift guides are hit or miss.

At the beginning of 2022, a wise friend examined the landscape of my life and said, “I think you should prepare to be a totally different person by this time next year.” He said it with a sort of curious concern, like he wanted to see what was going to happen but knew it wasn’t going to be easy.

And it hasn’t been easy. Damn Nostradamus.

Even the accomplishments—like MAY CAUSE SIDE EFFECTS finally hitting shelves—have come with consequence. The pressure to sell books is enormous. The void left after releasing such a long-term, life-encompassing project is deeply unsettling. And the disappointment of not selling as many copies as I’d hoped? That’s a special kind of hell reserved just for me and my ego.

Toss in the recent death of a friend, separation from a long-term partner, and discovering a genetic mutation that’s forcing me to re-evaluate all the assumptions I’d made about myself, and I’m left with a Petri dish of circumstance ripe for self-evolution.

All that to say, I’ve spent much of this year digging through my trusty toolbox of tips and techniques to support overall happiness. I tracked my Daily Happiness Average, as explained in Issue 61, followed the Three Week Rule from Issue 74, and returned to the work of Eckhart Tolle, my philosophical and spiritual guru.

I also gave myself the freedom to spend more money on things to support my emotional and physical wellbeing. With that in mind, I put together a little gift guide for you all, filled with products and services that have helped keep me afloat this year. Maybe something in here will help you or someone you care about, too.

Note that I am not sponsored by any of these companies in any way. These are all things that exist in my house, right now, that contribute to happiness during hard times. Enjoy!

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The App: Waking Up by Sam Harris

Sam Harris is an American neuroscientist and philosopher. His meditation app, Waking Up, is unlike other meditation apps in that it strips meditation of all woo-woo jargon and instead focuses on rationality and logic. His daily 10 or 20 minute guided meditations are my gateway into a more spiritual practice, and I come back to his app whenever I find myself in need of grounding.

This is the perfect starting point for people who “can’t meditate.” Give the gift or try try a month free for yourself by clicking here.

The Book: Walking in Wonder: Eternal Wisdom for a Modern World by John Donahue

A stunning work in the realm of Eckhart Tolle, John Donahue’s Walking in Wonder is based on conversations over years with Irish broadcaster John Quinn, with thoughts on the “gifts of aging, our fascinating relationship with memory, and why we need not fear death.”

It is on my list of books that I think should be required reading for all humanity.

Here’s the line that hooked me: “I don’t believe that death comes at the end of a life. I believe your death was there at your birth with you. It was the unknown presence. Every step of the road of your life that you take, your death is beside you.”

The Random: Kala Ukulele

A few weeks ago, I won a Kala ukulele at a fundraiser. I like music as a concept but am not particularly interested in the details, so I figured I’d strum the thing for a day or two and sell it. But, Kala has a dedicated app with a seven-day trial period, so I signed up and followed the week-long tutorial.

Now, I’m hooked. I’m terrible, but I’m hooked. I adore this wee instrument. In addition to cutting my nighttime screen time in half, learning to play is opening me up to the world of how music gets made. And as I mentioned in Issue 38, “On Choosing to be a Beginner,” learning new, random activities brings back our childlike sense of wonder and possibility.

The Drink: David’s Tea

A decade and a half of antidepressants wrecked my gut, and after years of suffering from GI issues, I’ve spent the past two years building back my belly through diet and supplementation.

At the start of this process, the first thing I did was quit coffee because it had a clear, negative effect on my digestion. As I mourned the loss of my favorite beverage, I turned to David’s Tea to soothe my decaffinated sadness.

A Canadian company with US shipping, David’s is the Starbucks of tea. I drink the Nepal Black tea daily and turn to Silk Dragon Green when I need a pick me up in the afternoon. I also like to get a small pouch of their dessert-y teas to kick any evening sugar cravings. My favorites are S’mores Chai and Cinnamon Rooibus Chai.

The Bougie: Fellow Kettle & Pourover

Don’t worry folks, the coffee embargo is not forever. As I’ve repaired my gut, I’ve been able to tolerate coffee in small amounts. Instead of crap beans made with a crap grinder in a crap French press, I’ve upgraded to the Fellow line of pourover coffee products.

Not only does it look sleek on my kitchen counter, but the difference in coffee quality shifts my perception of coffee as a mindless default to one of purpose and ritual. It also allows me to make one small cup at a time, which I typically enjoy on weekends.

The Food: Kimchi

On the subject of gut, eating a bit of kimchi—a fermented Korean cabbage rich in probiotics—before each meal has done more for my gut than years of doctors and supplements. Thus, gifting a jug of kimchi to your gut-impaired friends might be the greatest gift they receive this year!

To class up the experience, give the subsciption-based Kimchi Klub a shot. Or, just head to your local Asian market and by a gallon tub of the stuff.

The Essential: Mack’s Silicone Earplugs

For many people, including me, antidepressant withdrawal jacks up your nervous system and wreaks havoc on the five senses. Though most of my withdrawal symptoms have abated over the past five years, I continue to have extreme sensitivity to sound.

Given that we live in a world that’s only getting noisier, I’ve basically taken stock in Mack’s Silicone Earplugs. These were the only product I hoarded during the pandemic. That’s how much I rely on their noise-cancelling ability. The sticky silicone forms a seal around your ear, blocking out everything from crying babies to generators on the street to the hell that is leaf blowers.

I sleep with them, write with them, and generally swear by them. Much like kimchi, it’s not the right gift for everyone, but for some, it’s a lifesaver.

The Colorful: M. Graham & Co. Oil Paints

Much like my foray into ukulele playing, I picked up oil painting this year. Unlike the ukulele, oil painting is something I’ve wanted to do for years, but always felt like the startup costs were too pricey and cumbersome for someone with zero painting experience.

Well, fuck that narrative. Thanks to my year of loss and evaluation, I decided there was no reason to keep putting this off. So I rearranged my office, bought an easel, and began scouring the internet for beginning oil painting techniques. I quickly realized that investing in decent paint, even for learning, is key to enjoying the experience.

As you can see, I am currently obsessed with painting mountains, specifically the Grand Tetons.

The Escape: Sid Meier’s Civilization 6 for iPad

I was introduced to this game a few years ago, and since then I’ve put in thousands of hours. A cross between chess and Sim City, “Civilization” is a turn based strategy game about developing a civilization from an early settlement through many in-game millennia to become a world power. With beautiful graphics and calming music, it both relaxes me and keeps my mind engaged in a way that vegging out in front of the TV doesn’t. It also works flawlessly on iOS, making it the perfect travel companion. It’s also old enough that it’s often on sale.

The Occasional: Kermit Lynch Wine Merchant

Much like my relationship with coffee, my relationship with alcohol has changed over the years. Instead of a crutch or distraction, I now imbibe in small amounts, with purpose.

Kermit Lynch is a fabulous importer of French and Italian wines at reasonable prices. They allow you to mix and match bottles for a case, and the affordability means I don’t feel pressured to finish off the bottle. I’ve also never heard of most of their wines, so it’s always a tasting adventure. Wine production is also more regulated in the EU, which means on average, European wines have less alcohol and contain fewer additives.